The stuff we would like to get better at and to do more of...

We instill our practices by modeling them. We are modeling something all the time, whether we are conscious of it or not. If there is a Vineyard style may it be that we do our practices in a manner not to be ‘seen by people': neither to promote nor seek attention, neither to manipulate nor hype up, neither to be ‘religious’ nor phony, to be legalistic nor performance-driven. We should do our practices with honesty and reality, in love and compassion, being patient and kind, honoring human dignity, giving mutual respect, treating people as adults, with self-disclosure and vulnerability, creating a learning environment, with openness to explore and make mistakes and with acceptance and forgiveness in our hearts. Our practices should be without titles or offices or ego-trips or comparative judgments or any Super spiritual-stuff. We should quietly go about our daily lives doing the ‘main and plain' in an uncomplicated way.

Prayer skills

Prayer skills are first because they are fundamental to our relationship with God –from which all other relationship flows.

Marriage and family skills

Marriage and family skills are next because they are the most important relationships outside of our relationship with God. If we are not doing well in our marriage and/or family, then we are not doing well, period.


Intimacy is about self-disclosure, vulnerability, closeness and affection in our relationships in the home. These are learned disciplines.


Communication is knowing how to communicate effectively. Communication has different levels and is much more than words.

Raising kids

Raising kids and the skill of parenting –learning how to be good and effective mothers and fathers.

Financial planning and life management

The skills of planning and managing our lives and families well does not come easily or automatically. We need to be trained to do this.

Community skills

This set of skills has to do with our ability to relate in three dimensions: ministry to the Lord, ministry to one another and ministry to the world around us, such as: the ability to witness, the ability to counsel, the ability to teach, worship, fellowship, service, giving, bible study, giving and receiving forgiveness, laying on of hands, exercising spiritual gifts, healing the sick, care for the poor and the lost and the sick.


Venter, Alexander. (2003) Doing Church. Cape Town, South Africa: Vineyard International Publishing. pp. 181-191..